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June 13, 2019

Demystifying the Wedding Ceremony Part I

As part of the edumacation series, I figured it was time to put on my Officiant hat (or magic wand as the case may be), and help demystify the whole issue of the wedding ceremony. Some common questions are:

What is legally required and what is optional?
Can I write my own vows?
Does you have to say ‘obey’?
How long does it have to be?
How do I make it ‘unplugged’?
Can I involve family members/friends/pets?
How many witnesses do I need?
Do I have to get married in a church or at city hall?
What is a ‘signing only’ ceremony?
Who/when/how do I get a marriage license?

For the purposes of this post, I’m going to take on half the list, and follow up in a couple of weeks with the other half. And, if you have any questions you’d like to add to the list, just drop me a line!

Here are some answers for you, and please, never hesitate to contact me for more information!

1.Legal requirements: Here’s a direct quote from the Marriage Act of Ontario:

No particular form of ceremony is required except that in some part of the ceremony, in the presence of the person solemnizing the marriage and witnesses, each of the parties shall declare:

I do solemnly declare that I do not know of any lawful impediment why I, AB, may not be joined in matrimony to CD, and each of the parties shall say to the other:

I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, AB, do take you, CD, to be my lawful wedded wife (or to be my lawful wedded husband or to be my lawful wedded partner or to be my lawful wedded spouse),

after which the person solemnizing the marriage shall say:

I, EF, by virtue of the powers vested in me by the Marriage Act, do hereby pronounce you AB and CD to be married,

Ask your officiant how these requirements can be worded and covered in your ceremony.

2. Absolutely you can write your own vows.

After reading that rather dry content above, you’ll probably want to have a few more words to exchange <ah-hem>. Your vows can be either entirely customized, they can be traditional vows (i.e. ‘in sickness and in health), they can be a modern version of traditional vows found on any number of great websites, or a combination.

I’ve been told that this is the part of the ceremony that your guests really want to hear (as opposed to your fabulous officiant who merely sets the stage for you). Ask your officiant for examples of vows, some suggested websites, and also about the many different methods of delivery. Keep in mind that “Repeat after me” is actually very difficult, and only one option available!

3. Ack. In 800+ weddings I have never used the ‘obey’ phrase.

Please don’t make me.

4. The ideal ceremony length depends on a combination of many factors.

Those factors include the formality of your event, number of attendees, time of day and content considerations. To illustrate, a wedding that takes place on a boat in the harbour with all the guests standing (or in a park with 10 close friends), is going to be significantly shorter than a black tie wedding with 300 (or more) guests.

It’s pretty normal not to want to be standing there as the centre of attention for too long, but ceremonies that are too short tend to lose credibility and feel like a flash in the pan. “Is that it?”

While no one (including the officiant) enjoys a ceremony that is too long, it’s equally important to make sure that it is satisfying to your guests. That’s the whole point of the exercise. Make sure to have this discussion with your officiant!

5. YES! Go unplugged!

I won’t be the only one grateful not to have phones & cameras wielded by your guests. I’ve heard that some photographers are actually giving discounts to couples who have unplugged ceremonies because it makes their lives much easier (and your pictures much better too!).

As a speaker, it’s pretty crappy to look around the room and see half the guests texting or reading their Instagram feed. For a photographer, it’s also not a great image of your guests with their heads down and glow-back from their devices. Not to mention that person who stands up in the middle of the aisle with their Ipad. Don’t get me started!

I am always delighted to do an announcement prior to the ceremony start to encourage guests to put away their various toys and BE PRESENT for the ceremony. There are several versions of the announcement – it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Just ask!

Helen Sweet is a licensed officiant in the province of Ontario who has conducted over 800 ceremonies. If you’d like to inquire about her availability and services for your wedding, send a email specifying date, time, place and any other details you’d like to share about your nuptials! She’ll go to any venue that is TTC accessible 🙂

March 16, 2019

The long and the SHORT of it

Many brides shudder when the words “two-dress bride” are brought up in conversation. It’s usually applied to cases where a decision was too hastily made on that first dress and/or the shopping continued. (By the way, just… don’t. You’ll always find another dress if you keep shopping!!!) However, one reasonable exception does exist… when it refers to a more practical option to back up the full-length gown. In fact, we can’t think of any reason NOT to have a second, short dress! By the way, we have a lot. Yes, a lot.

Top reasons to buy a short dress at The Brides’ Project:

They’re inexpensive. Short dresses at The Brides’ Project range in price from $100 to $500, with the average about $200.

Help fight cancer. All profits from the purchase of your short dress are sent directly to cancer charities. While you might not have found your ceremony gown here, let us help with your party dress! Click here to find out about the wonderful organizations we support!

They’re zero-waste. All our dresses are donated… and either saved from hiding in the back of someone’s closet, or destined for some other untimely demise. Many are redesigned from longer gowns and given a newer, fresh look.

Show off your shoes! Not all bridal shoes are plain off-white pumps. We’ve seen some pretty spectacular footwear – whether colourful or sparkly or both. Let them shine.

Bust a groove all night long. There’s a certain elegance to the full length bridal gown that can’t be replaced. And it has its place, and its time. Like all good things, that time comes to an end… and marks the beginning of Twirl, Spin, repeat!

Pop-up Wedding/Destination Wedding/Shower/Bachelorette. You still want to look like a bride, or a bride to be… but not in an uber-formal way. Or you’re having an outdoor or destination wedding. A short dress is the PERFECT solution!!

Make an appointment and come on in to find your perfect short dress.

February 25, 2019February 26, 2019

Is it Vintage, or just old?

Well, I’m doing the ‘happy dance’ today. I just realized that according to our criteria at The Brides’ Project, I’m not just ‘old’… I can actually be considered vintage (that is, pre-1970). Sure sounds better, doesn’t it!

We have a great collection of vintage wedding dresses that are from the ’20s to late 60’s. I should let you know, however, that many of them are very small – humans seemed to have become a larger species in the intervening decades! So, for the most part, these fabulous dresses from days gone by are sizes 00 to 4 (which loosely translates to 2-8 in bridal sizing) and there are a few that are in sizes 6/8. The icing on the cake is that the average price is $150-200, so you can easily spoil yourself and even make this a second dress for the big day! If vintage is your aesthetic, make an appointment and pay us a visit. We’d love to see these gowns enjoyed again. Your purchase not only saves a dress from landfill (zero-waste!) but also helps us raise money to fight cancer. That’s what I call a win-win!

Also keep in mind, that if you buy a vintage dress, have your mother’s dress or another family treasure… there are plenty of resources to get that dress ready to go down the aisle. Often a first step is to have it professionally cleaned and/or restored. Fabrics tend to discolour over time, and many vintage pieces need a bit of love. We sent several of our pieces to Grace Gown Care since they are THE place to go for any wedding gown work and have over 30 years experience in restoring vintage gowns. Your newly restored gown will probably need a few alterations to fit like a glove and don’t forget that you can also add a little bit of modern flair – just consult with one of the seamstresses on our list who would be happy to help! Click here.

Dresses freshly restored from Grace Gown Care.

January 26, 2019

Trash, Treasure or Donate?

I was contacted by a writer recently who is putting together an article about the whole debate on whether to trash or treasure that gown you wear on your wedding day. I get asked frequently about my opinion on this topic, and of course I want everyone to donate their dress… but here are some reasons why.

“Y’know, I’m all for brides truly enjoying their dresses on the day! The act of deliberately trying to ruin something that can be worth thousands of dollars, however, seems to be a symptom of the ‘disposable’ society we have become. Long gone are the days of wearing our mother’s gowns and passing them down from generation to generation, but that certainly does not mean that these garments become worthless after ‘the big day’. Quite the contrary! It would be nice to see a new tradition continue of passing the dress on to another bride to enjoy and fighting cancer at the same time 😉 Donors are invited to include a note with their dress for the new bride, and this is a lovely way to wish the new bride happiness as she embarks on her marriage and to pass on that great karma from one happy bride to the next. Some dresses come through here several times… and just like the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants; there’s often a personal touch added each time so the dress is never exactly the same.

For brides who shop here, the dresses we offer provide a wonderful option. Not only are they cost-conscious (typically half or less than half the retail value), but it’s also an environmentally conscious choice (reuse!) and one that is socially conscious. Many express their delight that while they would have spent money on a dress one way or another, this way they are making a meaningful contribution. Since I think it’s fair to say that we’ve all been touched by cancer… that contribution is one that benefits our family, friends and loved ones.

I had an absolutely delightful bride here on Sunday who had lost her father to cancer a year ago. Buying her dress here was an incredibly important and meaningful event for her… and as she left she said to me, “I think my father would be proud of me.” I couldn’t agree more. He may not be around to walk her down the aisle, but as I hopefully like to think, the advancements in research and treatment might mean that someone else’s father IS there. Wouldn’t that be the best wedding gift of all?

And finally… it has to be said… our earth and our environment shouldn’t come at the expense of a bit of fun and a photo shoot. You know what these words mean – carbon footprint, sustainability and finally… Zero Waste. The latter may not be achievable in its entirety, but shouldn’t we at least make that our aim?

Just some food for thought.

‘Plastic Planet’ – pallet wrap and plastic bags/Yoshi Matsuzaki Photo, Michelle Sin Design

Found in article by Michelle Sin called: Wear the Change: Project Trashion

January 1, 2018January 1, 2018

Donations over $190,000 for 2017!

I’m so excited to report that our donations for 2017 have exceeded $190,000! Our annual goal is $100K, and we always hope to exceed that amount… but I don’t think we ever dreamed of almost doubling it! To date, we have raised over $930,000, and your support has been incredible. Thank you to all the brides, the salon donors, the tireless volunteers and the many others who have made this possible. In conjunction with our beneficiaries, there are a couple of key things we hope to accomplish; as Gilda’s Club puts it, “So that no one faces cancer alone” and to quote the Princess Margaret Hospital Foundation, “We will conquer cancer in our lifetime!” Visit our Beneficiaries page to learn more about our donations.

August 14, 2017August 14, 2017

The reasons why…

It’s been a long time since we posted on this blog… because we focus our attention on posting news on our Facebook page with day-to-day photos on our Instagram feed. But this post is particularly important because it’s a reminder to our staff and brides alike why we do what we do, and how it affects people in our community. We also wanted it to be a permanent reminder – unlike a note on a feed that gradually fades into obscurity.

Recently we asked on our FB page for your stories – why did you buy or donate a dress from The Brides’ Project?

Heather wrote us a beautiful piece that I would like to share with you:

I knew as soon as I found my dress that I wanted to donate it to the Bride’s Project after the wedding. I have friends who had either found their dress there, or who had donated theirs and I always thought it was such a fantastic organization. I was so happy dropping my dress off knowing that it was going to help in the fight against cancer and also give another plus-size bride the chance to feel like a princess!

At the time of my donation, cancer had not impacted my life directly. However, a few months later my mother was diagnosed with terminal colon cancer and she passed away in August 2016.

I cannot thank the volunteers enough for the work that they do to ensure the Brides’ Project continues to operate. Patients and their families need so much support in their battles against this terrible disease and many of those resources are supported through fundraising efforts such as the Brides’ Project. Knowing that my dress helped in this effort brings me some comfort.

On behalf of our entire crew here at TBP (The Brides’ Project) – we are so grateful to help provide that little bit of comfort and so sorry for your loss. And we wish you a lifetime of love, laughter, health and happiness with your hubby 🙂

Photo credit (both images): Benjamin Wong (www.benjaminwong.ca)

September 9, 2016

Terry Fox Run 2016

It’s my favourite time of the year… time for the annual Terry Fox Run! As many of you may know, Terry and the entire Terry Fox Foundation hold a very special place in my heart. A few years after I lost my best friend to the same cancer at only 9 years of age, Terry came on the scene and started his run just a couple of miles from where we grew up in NFLD.

And they both inspired me with their courage.

Join us on Sunday September 18th 2016 in supporting this incredible organization. We regularly change venues to keep things fresh every year, and there’s bound to be a Terry Fox Run close to you! You don’t have to run. You can donate a few dollars, or just come on out to show your support and encouragement. Again this year, The Brides’ Project happily donated $25,000 to support this organization in funding cancer research, for a total of well over $100,000 to date.

www.terryfox.ca/thebridesproject

January 3, 2016

Donation Update for 2015

I’m so excited to report that our donations for 2015 have exceeded $115,000! We’ve continued to exceed our goal of $100K/yr and hope to keep up this tradition in 2016 and beyond. To date, we have raised over $600,000, and your support has been incredible. Thank you to all the brides, the salon donors, the tireless volunteers and the many others who have made this possible. To quote the Princess Margaret Hospital Foundation, “WE WILL CONQUER CANCER IN OUR LIFETIME!” Visit our Beneficiaries page to learn more about our donations.

November 26, 2015

$100,000 to Sick Kids Garron Family Cancer Centre!

Last week we visited Sick Kids to officially present our $100K donation. This donation will be made over a 5 year period, and provide invaluable funds for the Garron Family Cancer Centre. In addition, we also have a website page with Sick Kids so that you too can donate and be a part of funding cutting edge treatment and care to fight childhood cancers!

September 21, 2015

Dress donations and summer brides

This is a 2-part post as I belatedly send a huge Thank You to some recent donors who brought us dresses and those who recently celebrated their marriages in a gown they found with us! Some of these dresses have already found homes, and many more have arrived as well.

Congratulations to all our brides, and wishes for health, happiness, love and laughter. We greatly appreciate your photos too… it’s a great way to illustrate how beautiful our brides are 🙂

Lovely Lauren (photos by AGI Studios John Lin) This pair just beams with joy, and Lauren clearly shows that the dress deserves to be loved again!

Julie & Andreas (photos by b ousquetphotography.ca) Julie sent us a beautiful note about her dress – and it had already had a trip down the aisle with its own story to tell. Dresses never look the same on different brides – in fact they are quite unrecognizable! Each bride adds her own touches, and her own happiness to the great karma that is passed along. This is what Julie had to say…

I decided to buy my wedding gown, and donate it back again to the Brides’ Project because I am very close to the fight against cancer. I have worked for the Canadian Cancer Society for 8 years and experience first-hand how cancer can turn people’s lives upside down. I thought supporting this cause on such an important day of my life was only fitting. Now I’m happy to donate the dress back to the Brides’ Project so it can bring joy to a third bride.